I’ve spent the past week, holed up at home, escaping the south Texas heat and writing. We are at the point in summer the weathermen here like to call “Hell’s front porch,” and I’m doing everything I can to hide from it. I discovered every basket item this week while staying in.

The Discard: The Odyssey

One of my hiding places this week: the movie theatre. I’d been dying to go see The Odyssey for months, and my husband and I finally got to go see it … and I was underwhelmed. There are some badass women in the tale of The Odyssey, and we barely got to know them. I wanted more Athena, more Helen, more Circe and Calypso and Penelope! I guess I’ll be sticking to Madeline Miller’s Circe and Nikita Gill’s Hekate for my Greek mythology fix from now on.

^{FYI: I am an affiliate with Bookshop.org and I may earn a commission if you shop through these links. I only share affiliate links for items I truly love.}

Inside The Basket

1) A gift and a note from a friend

I was surprised and taken aback when I opened my front door to find a package from a dear friend that lives in New Orleans. In it I found a beautiful bird plate (I like to call my style eclectic avian chic) and just as thoughtful, a sweet note congratulating me on following my dreams to be a writer. She even told me in a text later that I helped her have a Cherry Coke moment. Thank you, Lauren!

2) A plant that keeps working all summer long

In my (very early) morning watering sessions, I’ve come to truly love this little workhorse of a plant called Gregg’s blue mistflower. She looks soft, but she is a tough Texas native that keeps on trucking even when it’s over 100 degrees out and there’s no shade in sight. Plus, she is an absolute butterfly magnet. So glad I added her to my garden bed early this spring.

3) My new kid-made magnets

My boys are in the middle of a very intense Titanic phase. They are also exceptionally creative 8-year-olds. One of them even found a way to turn a couple of popsicle sticks into Titanic and her sister ship Britannic. I was charmed by these little creations, and I wanted a way to display them. I suddenly thought, “Magnets!” and for less than $3, I ordered the pack of adhesive magnets that turned these popsicle sticks into a prized decoration for my fridge. Planning to keep them there until I die.

4) Yang Yuanzheng’s Floral Arranging Instagram Account

I fell in love with watching this masterful creator, @yuanzhengflowerarrangement, make beautiful Chinese style floral arrangements earlier this year. I love the way he uses stems as floral frogs, fills vases with a pitcher of water (ASMR for the eyes), and then adds each new element to his arrangement in a truly elegant manner. Every new arrangement becomes my favorite.

He stopped posting in mid-April, and I was afraid he was gone for good. But he suddenly reappeared in my feed in early August, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m trying to fill my Instagram feed with things that make me happy, and this account does the trick.

5) Buying for Keeps

Claire Franklin from The Harmonious Home Approach is an interior designer who doesn’t like interior design. But she does love making homes. As a homebody to my core, I couldn’t agree with her philosophy more. I found this article particularly resonant. In it she encourages us to “break the cycle of buying frequent updates” and not to “let the fear of getting it wrong outweigh the joy and creative process of choosing something we’ve found ourselves and love.” Soon I will need to replace damaged flooring and a falling-apart-sofa. Thanks to Claire, I will be taking my time with these purchases and making sure that when I buy, I’m buying for keeps.

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Before you go…Have you found joy while staying in? Tell me about it in the comments.

🍒 In Case You Missed It… 🍒

I was born in south Louisiana, but I was not born of it. My mom and grandma happened to marry people who were from other states, and it distanced us from our Cajun heritage. As a result, I always knew about Cajun culture, but I didn’t feel like a part of it until I was an adult.

That all changed when I met my husband, who is part of a sprawling, card-playing, beer-drinking Cajun family. They accepted me with open arms, and I loved joining in on the fun.

Seven years ago, my husband and I moved our family from South Louisiana to Texas Hill Country. We moved for better work opportunities and to fulfill my lifelong dream of living somewhere that wasn’t Louisiana.

It hurts that we cut our kids off from the Cajun culture that they were born into. Our boys were only six months old when we moved so they don’t remember living in Louisiana. And since our daughter was born in San Antonio, she never lived there at all.

Family, hospitality, joie de vivre, and resilience are strong values in south Louisiana. We are keeping them. And we want our children to keep them too.

Why Cajun Culture Needs Preserving

During and after World War One, there was a national movement to “Americanize.” And in 1921, Louisiana rewrote its laws so that schools were required to instruct students in English. Many schools did not allow French to be spoken at all. Generations of Cajun and Creole children were physically punished for speaking their native language, and this created a sense of shame in being a French speaker.

The culture began to die along with its language, but luckily many people worked to preserve the culture and keep it intact. An organization called CODOFIL was founded in 1968 to promote the speaking of Louisiana French. In fact, when I was in school my French lessons started in fourth grade as a part of that movement.

Cajun Habits We Keep

We use Louisiana French vocabulary in our household.

Even though I took French lessons from 4th grade all the way up until I was a sophomore in college, I never became fully fluent. I simply didn’t have anyone to practice with. My husband also never learned French, so we speak English at home. But many French words are mixed into conversations on a daily basis in Louisiana, and we still use those words with our kids. Take a look at my favorite koozie:

Let me translate for you: “Boo-day” is the phonetic spelling for the French word bouder which means to pout. Boudin is a delicious Louisiana sausage. So the koozie saying means, “Quit pouting, and eat.” Food solves all problems in south Louisiana.

We use our family vacations to visit Louisiana.

This is the most important thing we are doing. Family connection is extremely important in Cajun culture, so it is important to us that our kids know not just their grandparents, but also their aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts, second cousins, etc.

We try to visit at least twice a year, and we go more often if we can. Our kids see Louisiana as a magical and mythical land. One of them even threatened to run away and move back there. (He was mad that I made him clean his room.)

Though we spend the majority of our time there visiting family, we also make a point to visit places specifically to teach our kids about south Louisiana history. Our favorites so far are:

• Vermilionville, a living history museum along the banks of the Vermilion River in Lafayette.

The kids absolutely fell in love with Vermilionville. They ran from house to house excitedly.

They were especially impressed with the one-room schoolhouse. “I will not speak French” was written over and over again on the chalk board – a common punishment for children who did slip into their native language.

• The Acadian Memorial in St. Martinville.

This little museum honors the history of the Acadian people with a beautiful mural depicting the arrival of the Acadians in Louisiana after they were expelled from their homeland in Nova Scotia by the British in 1755. There is also a wall of names of the original Acadians who arrived in Louisiana after the expulsion and the museum provides paper and crayons so that you can make rubbings. We were able to locate ancestors on both sides of our family and make rubbings of their names.

• Longfellow-Evangeline State Historic Site, also in St. Martinville.

This sweet park’s mission is to explore the cultural interplay among the diverse peoples who populated the region. This includes Acadians, Creole, Africans, Indians, Spaniards, Frenchmen, enslaved people, and free people of color. There is an 1815 plantation home to explore and a recreated Acadian homestead. Best of all, the small museum has many old-fashioned toys and the park rangers let my kids play with them. This was a major highlight for the kids.

We bring bits of Louisiana home with us.

While on our stays in Louisiana, we look for useful or decorative items to remind us of home. Our kids like picking out Louisiana t-shirts to wear to school, especially ones that have alligators or crawfish on them. It gives them a sense of pride to share their Louisiana identity with their classmates.

We also look for other souvenirs that we can use to decorate our home. I’m not talking about trinkets. We look for items that remind us of who we are and where we are from – and that we can use every day. (See my koozie above.)

On our latest trip, our boys picked out an Acadian flag banner for their room. Our little girl got a cute garden flag with a picture of the state on it for hers.

I also love to support local artists. We grew up loving artists like Floyd Sonnier and George Rodrigue and his famous Blue Dog. Now, my favorite Cajun artist is Tony Bernard and we often stop by his studio to pick out a new print.

My husband’s favorite tradition is to pick up frozen boudin and tasso from the grocery store on the way out of town.

We regularly cook Cajun food and share it with friends.

My husband is a wonderful Cajun cook. We both grew up eating étouffée, gumbo, jambalaya and more, but he was smart enough to ask his grandmas to teach him their recipes.

Now, my husband regularly cooks on the weekends and we often invite friends over to eat with us. It’s fun to eat the food, but it’s also fun to share our food with friends and talk about Louisiana while we eat.

My favorite Cajun cookbook is called Rice Cooker Meals: Fast Home Cooking for Busy People by Neal Bertrand. It’s not a “Cajun” cookbook, but it features *many* Cajun recipes. My two favorites are black-eyed pea & sausage jambalaya and zucchini, butter beans & pasta. I have used these recipes so many times, the book actually falls open to the right pages.

FYI: I am an affiliate with Bookshop.org and I may earn a commission if you shop through this link. I only share affiliate links for items I truly love.

We enjoy Louisiana music as a family.

On our trips home, we always sing Louisiana’s state song, “You Are My Sunshine,” as we cross over the state line. It was written by a two-time former governor, Jimmie Davis.

We also listen to our favorite “Louisiana songs” as we drive along. I have made a list of some of our favorites for you on Spotify. They cover many genres, some traditional Cajun, Creole, swamp pop, and country. There are also a few songs that aren’t by Louisiana artists, but they are about Louisiana.

And before you take a look at the list, know that south Louisianians are very playful people. When you see the song titled “That Butt Thing” on this playlist and wonder why I let my kids listen to it…you can blame my husband. He apparently listened to it in the car with the kids and told them, “Don’t tell mom!” Well, folks, they told me. And the song stayed on the playlist.

We play the games.

South Louisianians love playing games. My favorite is called bourré. It sounds like boo-ray when you say it out loud. This is a game my mother-in-law taught me. She and her friends get together frequently to play, trash talk each other, and generally have fun! You can not go into this game with a thin skin, but it’s a great way to “pass a good time” as we say in Cajun Country.

I am looking forward to teaching my kids bourré when they get a little older and a little better at losing. I’ll put together a guide to how it’s played in a future post.

One thing we do with the kids is a game called paqué. (Pronounced pock-ay) This is an Easter tradition. Each player gets an Easter egg, and they take turns hitting the eggs against each other. If your egg cracks, you lose. Winners walk away with bragging rights, and not much else.

We embrace our new culture.

Being part of a culture whose language was suppressed makes us value other cultures. Moving away has made us appreciate south Louisiana culture more, and one of the joys of moving to a new place has been learning about the culture here. Texas has its own rich history and melting pot of cultures.

Though they are different from what we grew up with, my husband and I have been thrilled to learn about the Tejano, Tex-Mex, and even German cultures around us. Teaching our kids about these other cultures does not diminish their love for ours. Instead, it teaches them that native languages, music, and foodways are special and worth preserving.

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Before you go…What’s something from your culture that is worth keeping?

Let me know in the comments.

Resources if You’re Cajun Curious

• My favorite Louisiana t-shirt shop, Parish Ink

• Louisiana artist, Tony Bernard

• Click here to hear some real Louisiana French spoken by singer Jourdan Thibodeaux

• These Cajun Mamas crack me up

• Free Louisiana color sheets

• I share a bit from our summer trip to Louisiana here:

It’s back-to-school time in South Texas, and by the time you’re reading this my kids will already be on their second day of school. It’s a bittersweet time of year. My kids are looking forward to having new teachers and classmates but also feeling sad to say goodbye to their lazy summer schedule. I feel the same.

The Discard: The Pinterest version of Back-to-School

Adorable first-day-of-school pics never seem to come together for me. I always wanted to be the mom with the perfectly coordinated first-day-of-school pic for the scrapbook. But last year I was so frazzled that morning, I completely forgot to take any photos at all and wound up with an end-of-the-first-day-of-school pic that featured sweaty, grumpy kids and stained t-shirts. And I decided that’s ok. In fact, maybe I’ll make that our new tradition!

Inside The Basket

1) School Supplies — For Me

I simply could not resist buying myself some school supplies of my own this year. A brand new pack of Sharpie S-Gel pens (pink ones!) and a new notebook made their way into my cart and I can’t wait to start filling this new notebook up with journal entries!

2) Reusing What I Already Spent Money On

Reusing any school supplies you can is the number one way to reduce your back-to-school shopping bill. When my boys were starting kindergarten, I bought them each a high quality, solid-colored backpack with the plan to reuse it for as long as possible. We are now starting year three with the same backpacks and they don’t look completely perfect, but they still look relatively new.

I bought my daughter’s backpack in a pattern which hides scuff marks better than the solid-colored packs. This year will be its second year in use and as you can see, it’s still in great shape. I also reuse lunchboxes, supply boxes, scissors, and headphones. Sometimes the teachers will send home extra supplies at the end of the school year and I save those in a safe spot for the next year.

3) School Supplies for Three Kids for Less Than $130

Combined with reusing old supplies, ordering our school supplies via a grocery app is how I bought my three kids’ school supplies for less than $130. I function better as an analog girl, so I printed the kids’ supply lists. I started with one and wrote down the category, such as “red folder.” Then I cross-checked that item on all three lists. Everyone needed one, so I wrote “3” down next to the item.

Once I finished totaling all the supplies, I opened up the Walmart Plus app and started typing each supply in. This was MUCH faster and much easier than going to the store to make my purchases. It also completely eliminated the risk of my kids seeing fancy supplies and begging for them.

Now, we’ll have a little more money to spend on teacher gifts or the school fundraiser.

4) The Lazy Genius Podcast

Kendra Adachi aka The Lazy Genius is one of my favorite podcasters. I listen to her podcast frequently because she teaches me how to make my life run more smoothly. I downloaded an older version of her Back to School Checklist episode to listen to on our trip to Louisiana, but I just saw she has an updated one now.

My favorite tip was actually from a listener. She decided to have her kids fill out an “all about me” questionnaire the night before school. Then when they got home, she fed them dirt cake. I thought that was a fun idea, but I decided to serve donuts instead. Easy way to start a new tradition!

5) Wynne Elder’s Notes App Trick

Some of the best internet advice I’ve ever gotten came from ’s wonderful Substack last year. Every year, the papers that come home from school pile up, I eventually get stressed, take a quick pic, and throw them away. But then when I need the information, I can’t find it. Here is where Wynne’s idea comes in.

On Howdy Night (aka Meet the Teacher if you’re not from Texas), I took pictures of the class list and the schedule. Instead of forgetting about them, I took Wynne’s advice and popped them into a folder in my notes app that I could easily reference as the year went on. I added the teachers’ favorites list, field trip information, extracurricular schedules, and on and on. It seriously made finding school info a breeze.

🍒 In Case You Missed It 🍒

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What back-to-school tradition are you keeping — or discarding — this year? Let me know in the comments.

P.S. Feel free to pull up a chair, crack open a Cherry Coke, and sit with me on the back porch to help me figure out what actually matters. Let’s tend to life, together.

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What are the little things that make a place feel like home? For me, it’s not just one thing. It’s the food, the music, the trees, and the people who gather to share stories passed from one generation to the next.

This Weekly Basket is coming to you from South Louisiana, where we spent a long weekend visiting family. It always feels good to spend time with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Inside The Basket

1. Eating: Crab cakes

Crab is my favorite seafood and on our trips to Louisiana, I eat as much as I can. This time we visited one of my favorite restaurants, The St. John , in St. Martinville. If you ever find yourself in Cajun Country, it’s well worth a visit.

2. Loving: Live Oak Trees

Nothing says Louisiana as much as a live oak tree. My grandparents had a huge one in their front yard, so live oaks mean home to me.

3. Listening: Travis Matte and the King Pins

I love lots of Cajun music, but I really like Travis Matte and the Kingpins. Their songs are a lot of fun and usually a little bit funny. Plus they are in English so it’s easy to sing along! This is my favorite of their songs:

4. Playing: Bourré

My mother-in-law taught me how to play this old Cajun card game and I am totally addicted to it now. I love it because it’s easy enough to learn in 15 minutes and we have so much fun playing together as a family. We play for toothpicks, not money, so the stakes are not high at all which keeps it light. If you are interested I found a good YouTube tutorial here.

5. Savoring: Sharing Cajun culture with my kids

One of the surprises of this trip was how much fun it was seeing my kids light up as they learned about their Cajun heritage. We visited a couple of historical sites in St. Martinville so they could learn a little history. The park rangers even let them play with some “olden days” toys that delighted them. Later, they enjoyed eating gumbo and seafood. One of them even said, “Thanks for teaching us how to be a Cajun.”

Thank you for reading!

🍒 In Case You Missed It… 🍒

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Before you go…Live oak trees feel like home to me. What makes you feel at home?

P.S. Feel free to pull up a chair, crack open a Cherry Coke, and sit with me on the back porch to help me figure out what actually matters. Let’s tend to life, together.

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Eventually small buds began to form and I got excited for my favorite part of zinnia growing: finding out what color they were.

Each green bud got bigger and bigger. They opened tantalizingly slowly. Petals began to unfurl, at first appearing lime green, but then the color would finally begin to reveal itself.

As each new bud opened, I hoped for anything but pink. Even though I love the color, I don’t love it in my garden. I prefer pops of yellow and orange.

But this year, pink flower after pink flower appeared. I was disappointed. But the hummingbirds and butterflies seemed to like them so I couldn’t be too upset about it.

One day I was in my garden deadheading. Zinnias are one of the best flowers to grow because as soon as you trim one flower off, the plant begins to form a new bud. They keep going all summer long.

I thought about my dear friend and neighbor while I was looking at all those pink flowers. Pink is her favorite color. I decided to make her a bouquet, grabbing one of the pickle jars I keep on hand for just this kind of thing.

I began clipping. Some flowers I chose were salmon, some a soft rose, others almost fluorescent. Once the jar was full, I looked at the flowers and was stunned. They may not be my cup of tea in the garden bed, but seeing so many shades of pink together in a bouquet blew me away. Suddenly it seemed as if all those pink flowers glowed. Flowers that look a little ho-hum in the garden, became gorgeous once clipped and put together in the vase.

I finished clipping the zinnias, picked up the jar, and carried it next door. That day, what started as a surprise for my neighbor became a surprise for me.

We aren’t trying to make life perfect. We are trying to make it align with what matters.

I’m Marisa, a 40-something mom of three and a former teacher and school librarian. I love to read, garden, and sit on my porch and stare at my garden. Sit with me and let’s build a life on purpose.

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Welcome to the inaugural issue of The Weekly Basket!

Each week I’ll share a few things worth keeping that made life feel fuller.

Inside The Basket:

1. Listening: Fizzy Fun from The Girl Next Door Podcast hosted by Kelsey and Erica

This is a new-to-me podcast, and I must say I had a lot of fun listening to it. This episode was Kelsey and Erica’s favorite beverages, and I enjoyed thinking about mine along with them. I agree that Arnold Palmers are the most refreshing summer drink. My mother-in-law introduced me to them years ago, and they’ve been in my basket ever since!

2. Watching: Silo on Apple TV

I just started this from season one this month, and wow, it sucked me right in. It’s all about a community of 10,000 people living in an underground silo. They don’t know how or why they got there. The story reminds me of a book used to love reading aloud to my classes when I was a teacher, The City of Ember. Except this was written for grownups! It’s so compelling.

3. Trying: Ikebana

My sister and I took a class on ikebana (the Japanese art of floral arranging) at our local botanical garden. We both enjoyed it, but my main takeaway is that ikebana is much harder than it looks!

4. Reading: When Two Worlds Collide in Costco by

Wow. This was an essay about meeting a former teacher in Costco, but it was also so much more than that. Not only did I enjoy reading about the chance encounter, but as a former teacher, the message really hit home for me.

5. Dreaming: About a Parisian Getaway

I’m a longtime fan of Anna Howard from the podcast, Wild Geese. I was excited when I saw she had published a vlog all about her recent trip to Paris. I was lucky enough to visit Paris twice, once in my teens, and then again when I was 25, but I haven’t been back since and it was a delight to escape there with Anna for a short while. I love that she had no plan. I’m the opposite type of traveler, but it’s fun to dream!

Thank you for reading!

🍒 In Case You Missed It… 🍒

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Before you go…What was worth keeping in your basket this week? Let me know in the comments.

P.S. Feel free to pull up a chair, crack open a Cherry Coke, and sit with me on the back porch to help me figure out what actually matters. Let’s tend to life, together.

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P.S.S. If you enjoyed The Weekly Basket, a heart or a comment helps other readers discover Life Keeping. Thank you for being here!

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There is a basket on the top shelf of my closet. It’s a woven thirteen inch cube. It’s so heavy I worry it will break the shelf, and I always make sure to support the bottom when I take it down. It’s chockablock full of journals. Journals that I kept off and on, probably from about the age of eight till I was around twenty-five. Nobody ever told me to do it, I just did.

There is one journal in particular that stands out, and not just because it is the biggest, thickest one in the bunch. 

I bought it at Barnes and Noble when I was twenty. I chose red because it was my favorite color at the time – it represented living life to its fullest to me, something that I was always thinking about and still am two decades later. I looked at several journals that day, but I remember taking it off the shelf and loving the way it felt in my hands. It was heavy, with a flexible leather cover. It felt ambitious to think I could fill this whole journal and I set a goal to do just that. I really wanted to finish something. Even if it was just filling a notebook with my thoughts and feelings.

I absolutely loved writing. I’d write poems and stories, but I was most consistent at writing journal entries. That time in my life was…let’s just say, tumultuous. I think most people’s twenties are. In the words of Taylor Swift, it’s a “miserable and magical” time.1

The best song about being 20.

Originally I was going to share an excerpt from the big, red journal, but looking through it I realized it is too raw and too painful to share. So a description will have to do. There were nights I was unhappy and I wrote in my red journal in wild handwriting and days I copied quotes that touched me in neat, prim letters. 

When I was upset, I’d lay in bed staring at the ceiling and replaying conversations and situations over and over. I’d lay there and feel all the bad feelings. I’d feel  wired and sleepless. Inevitably, I’d eventually turn on my lamp, pull out my journal, and write it all down. Then I’d turn off my light and finally be able to fall asleep. 

I needed that journal to write about my miserable and magical life. 

I kept at it for 3 years, and I finished it right as I was graduating college. (Yes, I was on the five and a half year college plan.) I remember writing on the first page of my new journal how appropriate that I was finishing my journal and finishing college in the same week. It was a momentous occasion and I was quite proud of myself for completing both!

After graduation, I started my teaching career, and I kept journaling for a while because I still needed that emotional release. But the journal entries became less and less frequent and eventually I gave up. I remember feeling the loss of my journaling practice, but I was just too zapped at the end of a day of teaching to do anything else. (More on that in another essay.)

Looking back at these old journal entries, I realized that my journals were not only my emotional dumping grounds. I used them to record my daily observations and reflect on their meaning for my life. I’d ask myself hard questions and then I’d try to answer them. Even though my conclusion was usually “I still don’t know the answer,” the process of writing it all down helped me to understand my own thinking. Going back and re-reading them helped me see patterns I didn’t notice in real time.

So I saved all my old journals, and from time to time, I’d go back and read them. During hard times, I sometimes used a one-off journal entry just to dump out my bad feelings, but I would usually run them through the shredder afterwards. I completely abandoned journaling as a longterm practice.

Until one day, a newsletter from Elsie Larson landed in my inbox. The subject line read “Summer Journal Tour.” She made journaling look fun, decorating her pages with washi tape and stickers. It made me think back to my early days and made me really want to start journaling again.

One day my family took a little trip to Daiso and I found the notebook aisle first, followed by the washi tape display. I chose a thin notebook in a color I liked. That way, just looking at it would make me happy, and I wouldn’t need to make the level of commitment I had made to journaling back when I was in my twenties.

When I got home, I got to work. Since I was starting fresh, I again decided to keep it simple. After all, low bars are easier to attain. I set up my first page just like one of Elsie’s.

Then, I just started writing. I wrote about small moments and what I learned from them. I even wrote about the trip to Daiso and buying my current notebook. It might not be profound, but I love writing down simple details from my everyday experiences. It helps me to remember, and my hope is that if I remember what I like, I can incorporate it more easily into my life.

And I’ve used my journal to tackle some bigger issues. I completed a “mid-year review” inspired by from Let’s Live and Learn. I always have enjoyed reading about Shelley’s methods for goal setting and reflection, but now that I had a journal again, I had a place to try it out for myself. I wrote down a few section headings like Home, Friendship, Health, Wealth, etc. And beneath each section I used Shelley’s system of +, -, → to reflect on each area of my life. This process forced me to think about what I had accomplished (more than I thought), what was missing, and what I wanted to do about it. Writing about what I want from life actually pushed me to start this newsletter.

Something else has changed about my journaling practice. Though I am still using my journal for emotional processing and for keeping a record of my day-to-day life, my focus has turned more towards reflection than surviving my own emotions. Luckily my daily life has much less emotional turmoil than it did when I was a twenty-something, and that leaves a lot more room for thinking. A journal is a great place for deciding what matters about an experience. 

In addition, I am now using my journal to have fun. Not only am I decorating it with washi tape, but I’m having a great time picking out stickers from my Nathalie Lété sticker book to adorn the pages. One night I sat down and watched a bunch of YouTube video tutorials for kawaii style drawings. I doodled in my journal as I watched. 

I’ve enjoyed my return to journaling both as a place to process thoughts and feelings and to revel in things that bring me joy. 

In remembering what journaling has meant to me, I’ve come to a realization about why I’ve returned to my notebooks. When I was eight, I journaled to make a record of my day-to-day. When I was in my twenties, I used my big, red journal to survive the intense emotions that come with becoming an adult. I abandoned my habit when it became too much to maintain in my everyday. And now that I’m in my forties, I’m returning to it mostly because I enjoy it. I want to reflect on the things that happen in my life, retain what’s good and leave what’s not behind on the page.

If you enjoyed this essay, please feel free to pull up a chair, crack open a Cherry Coke, and sit with me on the back porch to help me figure out what actually matters. Let’s tend to life, together.

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Now that you’ve read what journaling means to me, I’d love to hear what it means to you. Do you have your own version of the big, red journal?

Welcome to Life Keeping – a newsletter about building a life, on purpose. 

It was 1994. I was about to turn eleven, and, lucky me, my mom signed me up for an all-girls class at a local church about “growing up” otherwise known as puberty. I was mortified. We didn’t even go to church, so how did my mom find out about this class anyway? And why did I have to attend? Everything about my body changing filled me with shame and embarrassment. Plus, I was angry that girls had to endure the discomfort and inconvenience of periods but boys didn’t.  (Actually, I’m still a little mad about that.)  I trudged along from session to session, trying my best to blend in and avoid being noticed - or even worse, called on to share! In fact, I was stunned when other girls raised their hands, asked questions, and willingly participated in these classes. 

Finally I sat down in the last session and the teacher did not immediately pull up an image of the reproductive system on the overhead projector or launch into a story about how much pads had transformed since she was young and had to wear a sanitary belt (what?!) Instead, she began to tell us a story. I immediately relaxed. This was much more my speed. Maybe we were done talking about uteruses now.

She said that childhood is like taking a walk while carrying a basket. I imagined myself walking a dark wooded path, red riding hood and all. I didn’t hate this image. I loved a good story. Imagining myself inside one made it even better. While you are growing, the teacher continued, everyone you know places values, ideas, and beliefs in your basket. I thought about what would be in my basket – the ancient live oak tree in my grandparents’ front yard, my weekly trips to the library, summer road trips, and the idea that family comes first. 

I’m only just now realizing it, but the terrible shame I felt about my body was in my basket too. 

Then, the teacher went on, you hit puberty and it’s as if you trip over a root in the path and spill your basket. All those ideas and values go tumbling across the path and now you get to choose which items you will put back in and which ones you will leave behind. I knew I would put all those things I had just thought of back in my basket. What I would leave behind, I wasn’t so sure of. This part of growing up really appealed to me, unlike the bras, pads, and tampons that now dominated my thoughts and talks with friends. And I couldn’t have known it then, but this story wound up in my basket: it has stuck with me for the past 30+ years.

The teacher was right. As I grew into a teen and young adult, yes, I “tripped” and re-loaded my basket. Eventually, I found out that I wouldn’t just fall down once. There were a whole lot of roots along this path! It would keep happening over and over again. And in my younger years, I didn’t give each item a whole lot of thought as I replaced it. I just grabbed it all and tried my best to keep going. 

However, I did have moments of clarity from time to time. It was an afternoon in my early twenties. I turned my shopping basket down the soda aisle and then I saw the Cherry Coke. I thought about visiting my friend Brooke's house. She kept her fridge well-stocked with all sorts of drinks, including Cherry Coke. I could almost taste that fizzy first sip. Brooke’s house was the only place I’d drink it. Looking at that display in the store – three 12-packs for $9! – it suddenly hit me. I, too, could stock my fridge with cold, delicious cans of Cherry Coke. I didn’t have to wait to visit Brooke’s house any more. I did all my own grocery shopping and I could buy myself whatever I wanted. My world opened up a little and I laughed out loud. I picked up the 12-pack and loaded it in my cart. Nobody could stop me now! Open basket, insert Cherry Coke.

Days turned to weeks to months to years and life went on. I graduated and started teaching elementary school. I realized my favorite part of each day was when I’d read aloud to my students. I leaned into that love of books I’d had from childhood and became my school’s librarian. My basket was with me, the values inside guiding my decisions even when I wasn’t aware of it.

Eventually I got married and for years, my husband and I struggled with infertility. The only thing in my basket that seemed to matter during that time was wanting to have a baby. And it felt like that was the one thing I couldn’t have. Each month I hoped that my period wouldn’t come and then when it did, I’d have to call my doctor’s office to let them know. Usually I could hold it together for the phone call and then later I’d fall apart and cry in my bed. 

At long last I did get pregnant – with twins, and then I got pregnant again. Suddenly I was no longer a girl thinking about stories and deciding what to put in my basket. I was a woman with lots of responsibilities and not much time to think about anything else.

And then the pandemic hit. By then I was a stay at home mom of three kids under two years old, living in a new state with no network and no support system. I had lots of chores and caretaking to do, but my mind was idle in a way it had not been before. 

As a result, I dwelled on the past – re-read old journals and mulled over my past choices. I replayed interactions I had with students and their parents. I thought about childhood dreams I either abandoned or pursued. I questioned why I didn’t choose a different career path when there were so many options available. 

In short, I tripped over a giant root without even realizing it. On the surface, my life seemed fine. But I knew I had spilled my basket, and this time I could not rush to pick everything up and keep going. I turned each item in my hands and took a hard look at it.

I finally let go of some of the grief and guilt I had been carrying. I tried to forgive myself for my mistakes. 

Life moved on and became full again. My children grew and the world began to regain its rhythm. But I have changed. I don’t  want to wait for the next fall. Instead, I’m stopping here, on purpose, to sort through my basket and make sure each item has earned its place. I’m asking myself, “Do I still want this in my life? Is this still useful for me? How can I make this fit me better? Will I keep it in my basket or will I put it aside?” 

Life Keeping is a place where I can sit with these questions and examine the contents of my basket, one item at a time, and where, perhaps, you’ll begin noticing what you have been carrying too. Some weeks I hope we will discover things that are worth keeping, find ways to improve them, and slip them back into our baskets. Maybe we’ll find something we’ve been carrying that we are ready to put down. I’d love for us to sort through our baskets together. 

Each week, I’ll publish a roundup of what’s been filling my basket lately: things I’m reading, making, noticing, and thinking  . Twice a month, I’ll publish longer essays that explore the quiet work of tending a life and figuring out what actually matters. 

Come pull up a chair and join me on my back porch as I sort through my life’s basket. Maybe you can sort through yours as well. 

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Before you go, what was your “Cherry Coke” moment? I’d love to hear about the first time you realized, “Oh! I get to decide!” Feel free to share in the comments.